So I was wandering around Blackrock in Cork on the weekend and I have to say if I’d known I was about to bump into Royalty I would have worn something a little more appropriate. At first I thought I was going mad, I heard trumpets you see. The tiny tingle of little trumpets. A glint of gold caught my eye, so I looked up. On the wall above my head was a man on a horse.

“Welcome” he said.

I froze.

“We’ve been expecting you. Everything is in place, we hope you’ll find it all to your satisfaction.”

Suddenly loud scrapping, like nails on a blackboard, attacked my ears. A wooden chair moved across the footpath towards me. It appeared to have a mind of it’s own until I looked down. About one hundred mini men tugged ropes attached to the wooden legs. The chair was placed in position by the wall a little ahead.

“Please mount it,” the man on the horse shouted.

“I’m too big, I’d break his back,” I stammered.

“I mean the chair good Sir, not my horse!”

“Oh,” I blushed.

I walked ahead and climbed on board. The man galloped his horse along the wall until we met eye to eye.

“Welcome to the Castle good Sir,” he said gesturing to the right.

I followed his arm and gasped. The smallest castle I’d ever seen was perched on top of the wall.

“We’ve put in a new railing, it runs the length of the Castle grounds,” said the man as he dismounted and walked to a tiny stainless steal railing. “We’ve also put fire safety windows upstairs in the Castle and have run numerous tests. Here,” he said waving a miniscule piece of paper at me.

I took it up and strained to read the text.

“It should all be there,” he said.

“Um looks good,” I lied handing it back.

“So,” he said, “Do you need longer to inspect?”

“Am…well it all looks great to me,” I smiled still baffled.

“Do we pass?”

“Em…Yes, in my book anyway!” I smiled.

“Oh what a relief,” sighed the little man, “The Queen will be delighted. Planning permissions been the bane of our life. Please pass on our sincere thanks to the council. Would you like a cup of tea before you leave. I’m sure you’ve lots of places to inspect?”

“Em…no I’m fine thanks,” I replied confused.

The man got back on his horse and we looked at each other for a moment.

“So I better go tell her highness,” he said breaking the silence.

“Oh right yes…I’ll be off then,” I added.

“Great! Well it was lovely to meet you,” he shouted as I dismounted my chair.

I watched him gallop away, then the small army trudged off with the chair and I was left alone by the wall. I snuck out my camera and took a picture of the palace not wanting to forget this bazaar occasion.

It’s a true story, believe it or not!