“Hello my good lady, how do you do?

I see you’ve bought toilet paper, do I understand you use the loo?”

My cheeks flushed a little and I nodded my head,

“Why everybody does ‘cept the constipated or the dead!”

“Not true my dear,” said the shopkeeper with a sign,

“I’ll let you in on a secret, tis not a word of a lie.

The famous, the rich, the good looking too,

No need for toilet paper, they never do a poo,

nor a pee, nor a fart, they’re not like me and you,

The rich and the famous, they’ve no need for the loo!”

“I object, I protest, sure didn’t Elvis die on the bog,

And floating below him a magnificent log!”

“Urban legend, a farce, a fairytale, a myth.

Like Noah’s Ark, Armadillos or the Blue Tit!”

“Ah ha,” I laughed, “now I know you’re a fool,

Blue Tits are a fact, I learnt ’bout them in school.”

“Don’t believe what your told, it’s for yourself you should think,

I don’t know what you were rared on, but my mother’s were PINK!”

Then it hit me, he spoke not a word of a lie,

I bent at the waist and let out a cry,

For daily I hiked my skirt round my knees,

and bared my bottom to the bathroom breeze,

I knew right then my dreams would never come true,

for I was a user, an addict, an avid visitor to the loo!

I’ve been a bit lazy of late with the posting, well not lazy, busy actually! I thought I’d post this little work in progress, it’s a true story!

So I couldn’t get my hands on 20 elves, for some reason people just wouldn’t lend me their children and I still had a Christmas card to make…so I thought who is the essence of Christmas (beside Jesus that is!!)

Ah ha I thought… Father Christmas and guess what I have a father and another bonus I could get my hands on him without his parents permission!

So here’s a sneak peak at my Father Christmas…he’s a bad Santa!

Here’s how I put together a job from start to finish…

First I take the idea, sit on it for a while, throw it around my head, under my seat, in one ear and out the other until I come up with a concept…

Then I sit and sketch it, and sketch and sketch it…

Then I might decide to make it, photograph it,

Eventually scan it.

Finally the computer gets a hold and I illustrate, photoshop, indesign, until I have something that looks presentable (I hope!)

Ta Daa…

Benetton are back with their controversial ad campaigns. I think this one is brilliant and throws up all kinds of questions. Its for their UNHATE campaign.

Read more about it here

Why we can never top the beauty of nature…

Okay not in a sadistic way, I mean I know it’s Halloween but I am trying to give up!! My experiments are more of the gentle type, a few watercolour pencils, some paper and a brief. I played around with this one last week for a job I am currently working on and I have to say, while extending my arm up and over my shoulder for a little pat on the back, I like it! Self praise is no praise I know except when you say it into a mirror.

Anyway I may do a little more watercolouring I like the effect!